Oct 7

Fears

Picture a little boy about eight years old. He has brown hair and deep brown eyes that are always glistening and sparkling with mischief. He has a wide smile…usually.

But not right now.

He stomps into his room, shutting the door hard enough to make his point but not hard enough to get yelled at for disrespect. He falls onto his bed because life isn’t fair, and life is never fair for an eight-year-old boy with three older sisters and an eye for mischief.

This little boy is angry.

So angry he picks up his pencil and draws a small picture of a wolf on his wall right by his bed. It’s a black, angry, snarling wolf that looks like the wolf ┬áhe remembers seeing on The Never Ending Story. He draws it perfectly and sighs. It’s just how he feels, down to drooling teeth.

But this eight-year-old boy soon forgets about how angry he was and about his drawing of the wolf on his wall right next to his bed because eight-year-old mischievous boys can’t stay mad forever even if life isn’t fair.

Later that night, he crawls into his bed and the light is turned out by loving hands with a whispered prayer. He smiles, the taste of dessert on his lips because life is sometimes fair for an eight-year-old boy.

But then he sees and remembers the wolf in the dark…right next to his head.

He’s terrified.

Turning his head away from the drawing he closes his eyes, but still sees his drawing in his mind, snarling out at him.

So he turns on the light and scratches at the drawing with an eraser, trying to delete it forever. But the faint outline of the wolf remains.

My husband, now thirty, was that little boy that drew a wolf on his wall with a pencil and was terrified of it long afterward. He still remembers all the details, and he (obviously) can laugh about it now.

And would it have been better if someone had told him his fear wasn’t real? That it was just a drawing and not to be so silly or childish?

No, it wouldn’t.

We as writers cannot explain away the fear that children from four to fifty-five may have.

Because we all have to face the wolf drawing alone. We have to explore the fear, take it on, live through it and then realize on our own, that it’s just a pencil drawing on the wall by your bed.

2 Responses to “Fears”

  • Renee says:

    Oh, I remember that wolf! I did not know or remember that he drew it because he was angry though. And you are right…it didn’t make a difference when I told him he shouldn’t be scared of the wolf because, after all, HE drew it so it wasn’t a live wolf.

    • lindsay says:

      Oh, I’m sure you remember it all too well! He was probably mad cause he got in trouble for chasing you with that skull and saying, “ha-cha-cha-cha!”

  • Leave a comment or send a note
    1. (required)
    2. (valid email required)
    3. (required)
    4. Send
     

    cforms contact form by delicious:days

    Back to Top