Sep 24

In the clutches of ebay

By looking at me, you’d never suspect that I’m competative. And really, if you’d meet me, I’m sure you’d think the same thing.

I don’t like confrontation or conflict. I like to make people happy, to make them laugh, and smile, and only cry if it’s in a good happy-cry kind of way.

But then again, you’ve never met me on ebay.

doo-doo-doooo (cue setting sun, and tumbleweeds)

On ebay I am fearsome to behold, I assure you, and that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m very good at winning things on ebay, but it does mean that I will stop at nothing when it comes to winning things on ebay.

Sure, at first as I watch the item for a few days all is pleasant and congenial. I have a firm idea of what I’m willing to spend…or maybe I should say, what I’m willing to tell my husband I spent.

But then my┬áheart pounds as the hours, minutes, seconds tick…tock…tick…tock down. My fingers fly across the keys as I plug in my number and then hit enter. I glory in the sight of that “You Are Currently the Highest Bidder!” that flashes under my name. Now everyone…everyone….knows that I rule this bid! Maybe I even laugh, sometimes cackle, and sadly to say, I have been known to rub my hands together and say, “mmwahahahahah!”

Five minutes.

Three minutes.

One.

I’m winning. I’m in the lead. It’s mine….all mine!

And won’t John be happy that I’ve won this item for so little. That I’ve stayed strong and unmoving as an oak.

And then it happens.

I refresh the page and find out that someone  has snuck into the bidding and sabatoged me (most likely my ebay savvy sister, Suzanne).

My competition.

And she must die.

And that’s when all reason, all kindness, all fear-of-conflict flies out the window.

I will win at any cost.

An oak?

Yeah, right.

So moral of the story? I don’t shop on ebay very much.

But if for some reason you are reading this and you are currently bidding on a lot of 12 lace handkerchiefs…beware.

One Response to “In the clutches of ebay”

  • Your Name says:

    you are funny !!!

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